Official BBC Fireworks Now Available!

Just arrived by special courier... 

My bonfire party next month is almost complete! 

Now just need to get some friends to attend. 

Or maybe just get some friends. Full stop.... :( 

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Happy 60s Dr Who Halloween!

Kids love Halloween and dressing up as their favourite ghost, ghoul, monster or Marvel superhero. Back in the 60s, there was a couple of Dalek dressing-up costumes available. One consisted of a red plastic vinyl skirt and a cardboard laundry basket and looked as much like a Dalek as it did a Taran Wood Beast... Kids of the 60s were less fussy and put up with it.

There were some other 'Doctor Who' costumes available from the same manufacturer. I've just been up into the loft to hunt mine out ready for the big day next week. 

Alas, they are no longer in their original mint condition. The entire Voord costume has decayed and crumbled to dust as is the case of any cheap latex product. 

And the Zarbi is missing its mandibles. 

As for the Monoid, I bought it off Ebay as an original factory-sealed product for a considerable sum of money. There is something inside it but breaking the seal will lower the value of this highly sought-after collector's item. 

And knowing my luck, there's probably just a crappy 'Star Wars' Emperor costume inside it...

Doctor Who's Desert Island Discs

A few years ago, when I was fronting a radio show on Trent Sound with my good friend Steve Hardy, I came across an album by the actor Ray Barrett. (£1 from the Cancer Research shop in Belper!)

Mr. Barrett is well-known to fans of 'Doctor Who' for his seminal role as Koquillion in a 1964 two-parter called 'The Rescue' ("It is Koquillion! You can't come in!!") 

He's also known to cult TV fans as many of the voices in Gerry & Sylvia Anderson's 'Stingray' and 'Thunderbirds'. The latter he provided the voice of the Duchess of Royston in the episode 'The Duchess Affair'. Viewers of 1970s television will also recognise his face as one of BBCTV's 'The Troubleshooters'. 

The LP is titled 'Large as Life' and he gives a creditable account of himself as he sings his way through a selection of ballads and love songs. The title track is the only let down. Much of it is spoken in the voice of the Mighty Titan from 'Stingray'. It sounds odd and I still can't quite fathom what it's about - something to do with a 'larger-than-life' lady he once knew.... or something!

Anyhow, back to my point. There were quite a lot of these sort of LPs produced by the top TV stars of the 60s and 70s including Stuart Damon (from ITC's 'The Champions') and a rather disturbing offering from TV's Jason King alias Peter Wyngarde. (The track entitled 'Rape' is not to be listened to under any circumstances!). 

Some of the cast of 'Doctor Who' attempted to release LPs highlighting their vocal talents but sadly none of them were ever available in good record shops.

More caption cards from the BBC Continuity Department (with voice-overs)

"Wanda Ventham and Timothy Carlton star in a new BBC Classics adaptation of 'The Omen'. That's in forty-five minutes after tonight's 'Songs of Praise'"

"Tomorrow's 'Question Time' on BBC1 is presented by David Dimbleby and not an oily toad as listed in some editions of Radio Times!"

"We'd just like to apologise to viewers in the East End of London. It must be awful for you!"

"Paul Darrow is a National Theatre customer. Next tonight on BBC1, the News performed by Peter Woods!"

"You may like to know that exhibitions of costumes from 'The Apprentice' are currently on display at Longleat House in Wiltshire and on Blackpool's Golden Mile."

"We'd like to apologise to viewers of last week's Barbara Mandrell Show for any distress caused when we inadvertently broadcast the wrong episode."

"Su Pollard, Anouska Hempel and Barbara Dickson join Paul Daniels in his new quiz show after more cat and mouse antics with Tom & Jerry!"

"Tonight's Weather Report will be hot, sweaty...................... and hard!"

Some On-screen Captions From The Past

Here's a trio of original continuity slides from our favourite soap operas. 

NB The 'Emmerdale' Farm book offer is now closed.

Peter Capaldi: An Apology

Following my posting of an embarrassing photo of the Scottish actor and current star of TV's Doctor Who, I would like to unreservedly apologise to him for any distress caused by the raking up of his sordid past via a picture that he has been trying to distance himself from since 1983.

By way of an apology, the image to the left may cheer him up... and, in turn, prevent further legal action...

Capaldi's Catalogue of Disaster...

The Scottish actor and TV's long running Doctor Who once modelled for a catalogue... 

Honest!

Urgent Message from Dalek Control on Skaro...

Terry Nation and probably David Whitaker wrote three Dalek annual-type books in the sixties and they have become much sought after collector's items.

There was supposed to be a fourth one but it didn't get published. 

Apparently it was too downbeat for the blossoming swinging sixties... 

Here's some pages anyway.

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Dr. Who's Fun Facts of Space

There was a writer back in the sixties and seventies who used to write the "back-up" features for all of World Distributors annuals. 

You know the thing... the Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea annual would devote whole double-page spreads to facts about salmon and seaweed whilst the Z-Cars annual went into detail about how to break into a house at night and how handcuffs worked. 

The bloke had this job for over two decades and eventually went completely mad...

...and there's this one as well...!

Professional Detectives Now Assigned to Lucy Beale Murder Case...

Lt. Columbo has just one more thing to ask Ian Beale

Given that the police are making such a fudge up of investigating the murder of Lucy Beale in Walford, I've called in a few favours and employed some professionals to look into it. They are all pretty good and usually get their man (or woman) within an hour or so... 

NOT twelve bloody months!!! 

Suave Simon Templar will apply his charm to the Walford ladies

Artificial Simon Templar will stake out Arthur's bench

Jim Rockford will ask for directions and get punched by Phil Mitchell

Frank Cannon will check out the cafe

An Apology

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Following three complaints to the industry regulator OfSpell, we would like to apologise to our readers for the use of an erroneous apostrophe in one of our magazine covers recently. 

We regret the distress caused and hope that it did not inconvenience our readers too much. 

We have now taken the opportunity to correct this error - together with several others - and present the magazine cover again at no extra charge.

Once again, our apologies for the distress that our failure has caused. 

The Management.

And the new Doctor Who is...

One of the great things about 'Doctor Who' when it was off the air was the constant speculation about not just when it was coming back but also who was going to play the Doctor when it did. 

At some point every actor with an Equity card has been linked to the role from David Hasselhoff to Eric Idle to Ken Dodd to someone called David Burton. 

There's a load of could-have-been Doctors out there and I'm sure their first appearances in the official 'Doctor Who' Magazine would be one of the highlights of their careers...

Classic typo

Double Name Fail

The Sun's star choice

Crossroads novels.... Lots of 'em!

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Malcolm Hulke - the television writer who created the Silurians and the Sea Devils on 'Doctor Who' - was one of the main writers on Crossroads back in the 70s. When his mate Terrance Dicks got the gig to write all those hundreds of novelisations of 'Doctor Who' adventures, he thought he could do the same on 'Crossroads' and badgered the editors at Target Books until they gave in. 

He - and a few friends - managed just over 25 before his typewriter was taken off him. 

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BBC announces special Doctor Who themed edition of Mock the "Weak"!