Spoiler Alert: EastEnders 30th Anniversary Episode Revealed

Relevant photo to illustrate BBC panic

I had a phone call this morning from an old mate at the BBC. Seems they were in a bit of a mess. The guy who usually puts together their PR stuff had turned up pissed again at Salford and was unable to produce some visual stuff for a top secret project that they wanted to promote at a TV trade fair in Bournemouth this weekend. Could I help? They'd fly me a tenner for my troubles. 

I thought about it for a few minutes. I did need the cash but didn't want to seem TOO eager. So I said, "Yes, I would do it but can you include a couple of audience tickets for the 'Strictly Come Dancing' final?"

They agreed, still with a detectable hint of panic in their voice. 

A buff A5 envelope was duly rushed to me by courier from London and within the hour I was opening it to find a rather sticky tenner and a book of tickets for recordings of 'Pointless' in November. Ah well, I did try for the hottest ticket in town. Can't really grumble. At least I had the tenner and could afford to eat for the rest of the week.

Anyhow, the project is something I've been sworn to secrecy. But since you are a friend, I'll let you in on it. BUT DON'T TELL A SOUL OR SPREAD IT ABOUT THE INTERNET. Remember what happened to Marcello. I don't fancy that being done to me - not by anyone. Poor sod!

The BBC had been planning a big episode of 'EastEnders' to tie in with the show's 30th anniversary next February. It would've seen the big reveal of who actually murdered Lucy Beale on Walford Common earlier this year. Well, they've now got cold feet about that storyline as audience research has revealed to them that viewers are bored shitless by the whole plot and that someone had twittered the murderer's identity anyway and spoilt it. 

They've now decided to drop the storyline altogether and in a short scene to be added to next Friday's episode - Phil and Sharon's wedding - it would be revealed that Lucy had actually slipped on some dog muck and accidentally strangled herself with her necklace. Ian - her Dad - would accept that conclusion and the apology from the coroner's office and he'd be alright about it - which is nice. 

Anyhow, getting back to my little emergency commission... The BBC had decided to produce lavish 90 minute special in 3D and premiere it on the day of the anniversary around the world and in cinemas - as that sort of thing seemed to work on another show last year. 

Brilliant idea I thought. All they wanted me to do was some touching up of an old poster and re-letter it - something big and dynamic! 

So here it is...

Quite proud of it. Almost looks exciting... in a familiar sort of way.